How do you know if your child has healthy self-esteem or not?

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is the confidence and satisfaction a child has in them-self. In psychology, self-esteem reflects a person's overall self worth. Therefore, the development of a positive self-concept or healthy self-esteem is extremely important to the overall well-being of a child. As parents we are instrumental in building self esteem in our children

Observing self-esteem

It is possible to judge self-esteem in children’s behavior. Spend some time watching your child to find out if they have good self-esteem. It is important to remember that all children will have off days and there isn’t a simple test with a pass/fail mark for self esteem. You know your own child better than anyone and should be able to pick up the signs - through behavior and words, if your child has a low self-esteem. Sometimes, however, you might find this difficult as you’re too close, or you might have difficulty seeing the world through their eyes. In cases like this, perhaps relatives, friends and teachers might be able to help assist you. Most of the research available tells us that children with healthy self-esteem do the following:

• Able to take reasonable risks.
• Feel worthwhile (and lovable).
• Extend themselves as learners.
• Make friends easily.
• Display positive attitudes to others most of the time.
• Generally behave well and are able to control their behavior.
• Can accept they are going to make mistakes and experience failure.
• Like to be creative and have their own ideas.
• Can be cooperative and follow age-appropriate rules.
• Are generally willing to try new things and can show initiative as opposed to  children with low self-esteem who give up easily or show little confidence in areas that are new.
• Can acknowledge their own contributions to success.
• Are generally optimistic and use positive language.
• Believe that personal limitations can be worked on.
• Show enthusiasm for new activities.

Self-esteem as a family

It’s important to think about your home and the environment your child is growing up in, as your child's self-esteem initially develops within the family and is therefore influenced by the feelings and perceptions that your family unit has of itself. Family pride is essential to self-esteem and can be fostered in many ways like involvement in community activities, tracing your family tree, or caring for extended family members. Families work best when individual members focus on each other's strengths, avoid excessive criticism and stick up for one another outside the family setting. Family members believe in and trust each other, respect their individual differences and show their affection for each other. Holidays, outings, planned (and unplanned) activities are all great ‘team-building’ experiences.

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