Has your child been biting, hitting or kicking at home or daycare? Here are some tips to help your child through this phase.

Some young children go through a stage of biting, hitting and kicking. It can be frightening for parents, the victims and for the child herself. Having a child with aggressive behavior can be a real challenge for a parent. I remember not wanting to go to playgroup when my child was going through an aggressive stage. I would hover over my daughter in fear that she would bite yet another child. The looks from some of the other parents were almost unbearable. Take a breath and remember: This is normal behavior. He or she may be doing these things to see the reaction it causes. Preschoolers and older children may bite, hit or kick when they become frustrated or angry and have not yet learned other ways to communicate.

What can I do about aggressive behavior?:

• Become aware of any situations that may be a trigger for this behavior - sometimes it only happens while playing with a certain child, while playing with a certain toy or even if the child is hungry or tired.
• Keep a close eye on your child while she is going through this stage. This is not a time for you to sit back and chat with the other parents. You will need to stay close so that you can head off the behavior before it happens. If you see your child becoming frustrated, you could try distracting her with another toy or activity, or help her to verbalize what she is trying to communicate.  Give your child the needed words such as "It's my turn," or "I'm still using that." If you see she is unable to control herself, remove her from the situation.
• As hard as it is, let other parents know during playdates, as well as your daycare provider.
• Praise children when they use words instead of hitting and biting.
• When your child does get physical, stop the behavior immediately. Comfort the victim. Re-state the no hitting/biting/kicking rule and suggest alternative ways to behave. Eg. "Hitting hurts, it's not ok to hit. If you want the doll you need to say to Rebecca, 'Can I have a turn?'
• Avoid reacting by humiliating or yelling at your child. This often makes the situation worse. Remember, your child is still learning appropriate ways to behave.

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